Analysis

This thing of trying to figure out where you want your craft to go
at the same time being barraged by the society around you
not knowing what's good enough
not knowing what's just in your head
not knowing why it matters so much
- yet not being able to stop analyzing
     is it a wonder we drive ourselves crazy?
To take that first plunge - feel the drop with nothing under you
I remember now why I wanted to kill myself so long ago
releasing these thoughts, these ideas
     at the same time dancing with this word called 'faith'
trying to un-learn creative boundaries
- borders we put up ourselves -
     is it a wonder I want no one near me?
balancing remorse for realizing this late,
not knowing if you still have plenty of time
     (is this what a fear of death is?)
"I analyze every second I exist"
- and that was true 10 years ago.

It's not about wanting someone to solve this for me -
     rather, to learn how to complete it myself